Probably the most frequent sin I have committed in my quest for a closer relationship with God is that of trying to save myself.
This week He is teaching me a lesson that has continued to be very hard for me to absorb. I am infinitely grateful that He does not give up. I will learn. I am not used to being a slow learner. I have always been a quick learner of worldly things. That does not mean that I am necessarily quick to grasp God’s truth.
Today’s lesson (a review of a lesson already taught but not yet fully grasped by me) is:
Just because I am striving to do God’s will doesn’t mean there isn’t a right way and a wrong way to go about it.
Another way of saying this might be that the ends don’t justify the means.
Here’s the thing. I eagerly took up the project of doing something that I absolutely know that Jesus wants me to do. I got really “into” it, made plans, obsessed on details, envisioned exactly how it was going to go, and completely took charge of making it happen.
But therein lies the rub. When I stopped letting God lead and started trying to do it all my own way according to my own vision and my own will … everything started to go awry.
My first thought was, “God I know You want me to do this, so You’re going to fix all these little problems that keep coming up, right?”
Patiently, God made it clear that, no … it is not His job to serve my will. It is my job to serve His.
I will learn, God. Thank You for Your patience with me.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.Ephesians 2:8-10